Slippery Elm Tea

Image from evitamins

Just say no. Don’t do it.

I know your throat might feel like the inside of a board being gnawed out by termites. It might feel like you tried to swallow a cheese grater. Swallowing might not even be an option. But still, say no to the slippery elm tea. The profound horror of its taste will leave you longing for the clear, sharp pain, or the raw burn of your sore throat. The stuff is that nasty.

Granted, it seems to be working for me. My throat does feel better, but I can’t shake the taste and it’s really bothering me.

I can also admit that I might have made it badly,  but I followed the instructions for water temperature, so that’s not it. The only excuse I can think of for the stuff is that it might taste bad with maple syrup in it.

That’s right folks, I use maple syrup to flavor my tea. I do this because I can’t have much sucrose without having horrible stomach pain and heartburn, and concentrated forms or fructose (like agave and honey) also give me heartburn. I know that maple syrup contains sucrose, and I don’t know why it doesn’t give me stomach pain, but it doesn’t, so it’s my sweetener of choice.

I told a friend of mine that I liked tea too much to count this stuff as tea, called it a “bad potion.” She laughed and asked if I’d pissed off any witches lately. I don’t think I have. If I did, I’m sorry. I’m not in the habit of going around making people mad. That said,  if you are a pissed off person of any religion,  practician, state of life or beliefs, this product might be the thing for you. Your victim will be suitably punished by its taste for whatever they did wrong. Have fun.

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~ by lamichaud on January 16, 2013.

 
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